Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
