yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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