im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize