READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
