on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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