This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
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Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
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She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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