somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
