just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
