I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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