i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
