What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
it was like eating out sand paper
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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