PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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