dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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