fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
