I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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