how can u be prego again
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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