singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
