Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.