Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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