I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
