I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize