ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
