Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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