Your mouth is God's brothel.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
