New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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