Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
