I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
