dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Michael Bay diarrhea
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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