I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
this will be a night to untag.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
