What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
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Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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