LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just gift wrapped bread.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
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You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
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I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!