Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.