4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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