In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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