Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My vagina just clenched in fear
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