It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
