you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize