drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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