I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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