i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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