I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
