The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I think I sprained my soul last night
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
