I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
