Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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