Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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