Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
