I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize