lets start a swedish sibling band together
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
