Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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