Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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