Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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