Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
