I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
