OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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